Many things have been travelling through my head these days. Great thing like what is the meaning of life, not the big questions, but the closer to home questions.
What is the meaning in my life?
When I was young, I never gave much thought as to what future might hold for me.
I thought about lots of things. Things that were way closer to home, to my family.
I grew up in a some what traditional family, mom stayed at home dad went to work.
Blah ,blah ,you know the story, right?
Life was not too bad, wait....
Flashback to me trying to run away from home.
I might have been 5 years old.
I just now recall, how hurt my feelings were.
I have no memory of what made me angry or made me think that I needed to run away from home.
But run I did.
I felt this overwhelming sense of utter despair, and my thinking that I was not wanted.
I recall packing something, in a handkerchief and tying it up, like a hobo, I even recall thinking that I wish I had a stick to hang my belongings on.
I prepared for the climbing out the bedroom window.
One leg up and over, two legs hanging down, now finger tips sliding over the window sill, guess there is no going back.
Escape complete.
At the the time the house was a bungalow, now it's a two story home.
I remember it felt like an eternity had passed as I waited ,crouched by the stairs that lead up to the front door.
I'm sure I huddled there for a couple of minutes, I really have no idea.
I recall thinking that they (the intended victims of my disappearance aka my parents),would be missing me by now,
that they would be frantic,
worried out of their minds ,
oh my god, they would be screaming,
running around frantic,
where is our Suzy?,
what had happened to her,
how will we ever live without her!!!!
Nope, not a single peep.
How could this be??
How could they not know that I was no longer in the house.
How could they not know I was missing.
I thought about all the times, my mom warned me about never going with a stranger, even if he offers you candy!!
Ummm hello family, your precious, first born daughter is now outside of the house, running away from home,
where she might meet a stranger walking along East 16 street,
who offers her candy!!!!
Well now, wouldn't that really show them!
I most likely thought about my Nana, my mothers mother, she and I always had a special bond. At this moment, I knew one thing for sure she loved me unconditionally.
Nana would never have let this happen!
She would have come and found me the second I flung my leg over the window sill.
Right now I would be eating cinnamon toast and drinking tea with her in the kitchen! She would tell me I was loved. It should be she who should be here watching out for me.
What the hell!!!
Wish she was here now, not back home in Winnipeg!
Okay, so maybe I did not swear, but if I knew any curse words, surely I would be thinking them.
A few more minutes pasted.
I was starting to get tire from crouching, just waiting for the moment when they would discover I was missing.
What was taking them so long!!!
I climbed onto the front stairs, still mad, rethinking my situation.
Well, now what?
Should I really run away???
Where would I go ????
To my boyfriends house?
Yes I had a boyfriend then, he was blond and a year older, Roy. Whom I believe , later became the Dean of Langara College in Vancouver . If he ever sees this post , I trust he will forgive me for my unorthodox style of writing.
Roys wife is an interior decorator. Almost fell off my chair the first time I saw her name in print linked to my 6 year old boyfriend. Roy and I loved to play Tinker toys, oh the things that we built , there on his mothers kitchen floor....
Hmmmmm happy memory of my early childhood. Must find photo of us two and post it.
So, where was I , oh the rethinking... what to do, what to do...
I can hear my sisters ,Linda and Pamela playing toys. That's what we called it playing toys.
Did they even miss me??
Come on you guys, really. No one knows I'm missing????????
I guess I'll just get myself back into the house and keep the whole , "I ran away and no one missed me", to myself.
Having climbed out the window, I guess that I will just climb back in the window. Right!!
Did I mention that I was about 5 years old when this happened?
Screwed that one up didn't I?
Now what? .
How do I get myself out of this situation?
(Why do I find myself in these situations?) sigh, okay double sigh!
My parents have know idea I am even missing. hmmmm
I guess that I will just march in through the front door and tell them what has happened, while they were doing whatever it is parents do on a Sunday in the late afternoon.
Maybe they will love me more,when I explained to them that I ran way and point out they didn't even notice.
How could they do that to me!
I can still hear them laughing at me.
Of course, how stupid of me.
Of course, they are going to laugh at me.
God how I hated being laughed at.
But I guess that is what happens when you put yourself out there, when you stand up for yourself.
I wanted, no, needed for them to take me seriously.
I told them to stop laughing at me, that I was sad and mad and,
no such luck.
Totally forlorn and exhausted after my traumatic experience, I did what ever woman would do. I tossed myself onto my bed, cried into my pillow and fell asleep. I woke up about an hour later, someone had pulled a blanket over my little body. Mom was calling us all for dinner.
I don't recall what we eat that night, but I do recall that we didn't talk about the events of the day.
Years later, my family would all laugh at my stories. So many of them involved me being laughed at, sometimes with. It seems to me that the best stories involved me saying or doing something that led to some trouble, adventure, or just a story that the whole family still loves to share and laugh about.
It was not long after my running away from home episode, that I almost lost my life.
I need to do some research in the Vancouver news papers archives to get the whole story.
For now I will just say that the story involves me on a tricycle.
Me saving my sisters butt.
And a bakery delivery truck.
As I close this tale, I would like to thank my husband for telling me I should write.
I would also like to thank the person who created "Spell Check", you are my hero.
Without spell check this story would be a confusing read.
I love to tell stories, but I can not spell worth a darn.
I will explain why in my next post.
Cheers!
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